Saturday, October 5, 2013

Nobody Cares About Me

Thoughts and Their Baggage

They don't always pack lightly

Watch the following thoughts:
  1. Nobody cares about me.
  2. Everyone is self-absorbed.
  3. Everyone is stupid.
  4. Everyone is too attached to their own beliefs.
  5. I am all alone in a world of stupid, self-involved, people.
Now clearly you did not 'watch' the aforementioned thoughts, but you read them. As contradictory as they sound strung together like that, these thoughts have been making an appearance in Mind. Also, I hooked into them. That is to say, I believed them or contemplated believing them or felt emotions due to the thoughts which means I believed 'something' about them. (Otherwise they were just words that floated by and this post would not exist.)

If you have ever felt similarly you might be able to remember the isolation, the self-pity, the sadness, the anger, the frustration of those beliefs. And if you've never felt the emotions of believing those particular thoughts, maybe you have other similar thoughts about the world that causes stress or pain.

Reminder And I am writing this today because my Mind is still trying to have me believe them. Thanks ego. Thanks Vasanas. Thanks Samskaras. Thanks FReakin' God.

But yet because I'm throwing a fit that the "whole entire wide world" is stupid and self-involved while my Spirit knows that to be nothing more than thoughts this Mind is hooking into, I'm seeking to release these beliefs. I am seeking to release these beliefs because... pain. Ew. Illusions.

And I will speak of Mind as a 3rd person because I can't help it; It's a "Just is."

And what really gets me; It doesn't even make sense. If 'everyone' really were so self-absorbed and stupid why would "Nobody cares about me" be part of the stress? Would I really desire the care of a self-absorbed and stupid personality? What might that look like?  Maybe I would desire the care of a personality that exhibits generosity of Spirit and intelligence, but you know... If everyone is self-absorbed and stupid [including me] I'm just going to miss it.


How Mind Tricks Us into Belief

  1. {Initial Thought Happens} Nobody cares about me.
  2. {Mind Exaggerates Evidence #1} Everyone is self-absorbed.
  3. {Mind Exaggerates Evidence #2} Everyone is stupid.
  4. {Mind Exaggerates Evidence #3} Everyone is too attached to their own beliefs.
  5. {Exaggerated Conclusion} I am all alone in a world of stupid, self-involved, people.
So the Mind searches for evidence to support itself. And because in my case it doesn't often play fair I get into such an exaggerated conclusion with heavily powered emotions and there I am; Caught up in belief.

And to make matters worse, because I am in this Belief mentality, everywhere I look, my Mind will continue the 'snake eating its tail' and will continually find evidence to support itself.
  1. A person (on a cellphone) began pulling in front of me which almost made us crash. Had I not laid on my horn that would have been a serious accident. Proof of Self-absorbed.
  2. People arguing each other regarding U.S. Federal Shutdown or politics or religions or (etc...) Proof of 'Too' attached to beliefs at the expense of relationships.
  3. People posting cliches, unoriginal, regurgitated, pseudo-spiritual images all over the Facebook that seems to be the only thing making it into my feed. Proof of stupid; Probably Facebook's.
  4. This morning my mother expressed concern regarding my sister; Not me. Proof that nobody cares.

Thoughts Are Not the Problem

Believing Them Is the Problem 

I am not going to show an example of The Work in this post. I am going to show what The Work undoes. There are other examples around here showing how to specifically use The Work.

In this post I am going to show what I did in order to starve the Mind which led to the Ego believing the illusions that were causing me stress. Over and over and over again. [You didn't believe I was Living Samsara? Well. I'm not today. Today I am back into Heaven and here's how.]

The first thing I did was delete Facebook
If I starve the mind of reading friend on friend battles or "I'm going to teach you how to think," regarding politics, religion, recovery, and passively or openly belittling each other; If I starve the mind of witnessing people weaving intentional illusions that are serving nothing but feeding Ego; If I starve the mind of seeing that Facebook's algorithm didn't allow even 3% of people to see, much less 'like up' my post, art, etc; If I starve my sensory organs of its weird addictive need to hang out on Facebook, then I have taken care of a major source for all four iterations of Evidence [ie, the proof of self-absorption, proof of attachment, proof of stupidity, and proof that no one cares about me.] that I constantly bombard my senses with.

Why I Didn't Just Do the Byron Katie Work?
Because if I'm feeling overwhelmingly negative emotions and then discover that it's because I'm on fire, I'm not going to pull out a "Judge Your Neighbor" worksheet; I'm going to jump in the lake.

There was a story and I think it was Gangaji who shared it. [I will post the video link if I run across it.] Someone, we'll say a woman (because gender's not important and I also forgot the gender), had written into or shared with Papaji (I think?) that she was experiencing problems in meditation. She lived above a garage and as hard as she tried to meditate it was just too loud. Maybe she was not spiritual enough to drown out the noise. What was wrong with her practice? If she were enlightened, the noise would not disturb her and so forth and so on. "So," she asked, "What can I do?" To which the teacher replied, "Can you leave?"

Highly Sensitive People: Sensory Stimulation, Overload, & Being Empathic
I do not want to go into the HSP traits and issues here, but wanted to say that being Highly Sensitive as a 6th or 7th sense individual may make "The Work" more difficult to do.

I see words on Facebook that I know the writer does not mean for example, fine; I am okay with that. Their story and they can lie if they want to. I see people claiming sobriety who are not [or at least have not been] sober yet they laud each other on eschewing mind-altering substances; Again, fine. (Gross. But fine.)

But then there are the words and images in my feed that bombard my senses with the red hot screams so fast and so furiously to the extent I can't even untangle and I don't want to. [Hint: Ego enforcement, pretense, self-deception, perpetuating illusions...]

And I walk away feeling more depressed in that FakeBook world than before sitting down in mine. Made worse for me when I go onto Facebook for entertainment or to connect with some friends and I see little more than a continuous stream of whatever is triggering off my senses that day; Pill induced butterflies and cupcakes, hatred for this group or that group, oversharing for attention, complaints on how other people need to change or believe this or that, things wrong with the world ALL THE TIME, ad nauseum.

So I left that imaginary world to get back into my real one.

At least for a while.

An HSP INFP needing to get back 'home,'

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