How to Approach Byron Katie's 4 Questions

In Facilitating The Work, I expressed Three Components of a Facilitator or Helpful Human Being [or even friend] I find necessary for assisting us in doing The Work. These essentials are : Compassion, Humility, and Clarity. I find these qualities necessary for progress and success in Inquiry because I have had experience with philosophy, religion, psychology or other "change our thought" or "change our lives" processes with people who talked a great talk while having a crooked walk. In other words they lacked integrity. Their external words conveyed in public were not aligned with their internal Spirit [as it manifested externally] in private. Highly Sensitive People seem to have a natural advantage in this area, due to their empathy.

In this post I am going to express Three Components I find necessary for being the one who is performing The Work. Now these are the biggies because we approach The Work ourselves, for ourselves, for benefit of ourselves, and to change our lives for the better. It is not necessary for a teacher to assist us with The Work so the "Facilitating the Work" post can be overlooked or ignored altogether. But because we are the ones doing The Work for and to our own selves, I do believe it to be so important that we clutch, cling, and grasp to the following three qualities as we step into Inquiry.

H.O.W. do we do it?

1.] Honesty - As I approach Inquiry I first have to be willing to take my stressful thoughts to inquiry & then I have to be open-minded enough to find the examples; find the turnarounds. And this is all based in honesty. If I do not desire for my pain and suffering to end and if I refuse to be open-minded, yet I go into The Work, that's not being honest with myself. If I am sick with disease [or dis-ease as I approach The Work] and am suffering, if I am not open-minded enough to consider that a Doctor might be able to help me, or if I am not willing to go in to see the Doctor, or willing to share my symptoms or honest enough to share my real symptoms, or willing to take the medicine, did I really want to be healed? Maybe I really did. But maybe I didn't feel like getting in the car or waiting in the office or spending money on the medicine and I don't trust Doctors anyway. I'll just wait it out. :)

2.] Open-Mindedness - Being open-minded, I have found, comes differently to personalities. I know skeptics who have been beaten into open-mindedness due to pain and I know naturally open-minded personalities. So whichever you are, as long as you approach with open-mindedness it just may work.

3.] Willingness -Willingness is an action. As Katie would say, "War belongs on paper" and "The Work stops when you stop answering the questions." Are you willing to write it down? Are you willing to carry through? Being Honest and Open-minded is of little use if I am not Willing.

That's it. That's how I approach the work and H.O.W. I find it invaluable. Now when I first approached Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life I was angry. Oh yes. I was not finished being a victim and my reasons for suffering were legitimate.  [Legitimate suffering I just said, and it brought a smile to my face. I love my memories.] And for this reason, I would never thrust upon a person these four questions without their HOW. (As it would also break the 3 Components for Facilitators - Compassion, Humility, and Clarity - I believe in.) But what did work for me when was I was ready was the attitude of Honesty, Open-Mindedness, and Willingness. These three qualities were taught to me through 12 step programs and I have grown universally friendly with using these qualities when approaching anything that happens in my life, including The Work.

You are Not Living Up to Your Full Potential!

You are not living up to your full potential are you? I know I am. I know I am living up to my full potential right now as my heart beats and I have no question.

Or maybe I'm not. And I am okay with that too. Am I a slacker? Or maybe I'm lazy. Or maybe I'm stupid. Does it matter?

Facilitating The Work

So now that we know a little about The Work, Byron Katie, and how we must put ourselves up to Inquiry using the 4 Questions if we want to eliminate or at least reduce our suffering in an given situation, I feel it's important to highlight a few key areas.

Did you know you could become a "Certified" Facilitator of The Work? Sure. This certification from Byron Katie International says you've completed the required sessions ~ which can be cost prohibitive for some ~ and have undergone the training necessary to get your 'Certificate.' It's not a license. With that said,  you don't have to become certified to help another human being.

When 'The Work' came to me ~ before Byron Katie introduced it into the world with a name calling it 'The Work' - I  was about 5. I didn't heal then because I was 5. I hadn't yet been adequately damaged through false perceptions so there was nothing to heal from. And by the time I was at an age to understand I could apply this (for me) Intuitive Knowing, I was into choosing alcohol as my solution. With that said I'm going to make a brain-busting announcement and claim that everyone already has the Truth ingrained and embedded upon their Spirit. 'The Work' is just another method that Byron Katie has brought to the world in order to help us get back to our truth.

So if you would like someone to help you with The Work or to become a person someone can do The Work with, I would love for you to keep three traits in mind and to understand why they're essential to success in Inquiry.

White People Are Scary

Are white people scary? Are black people scary?

Katie addresses a woman and her belief that "white people are scary." I love how Katie shares with the woman, "I am not afraid of your fear." This is how The Work works. Watch this incredible video and notice the four questions!

Article: Can These Four Questions Change Your Life?

On April 19, 2010 an article appeared on Oprah's website entitled Can These Four Questions Change Your Life? by Caitlin Flanagan.

Caitlin had been suffering - in the literal sense of the word suffering - with a diagnosis of cancer. She was bald from the chemotherapy and scared to death of her unquestioned thoughts. So she went to see Byron Katie after seeing Katie on Oprah:

In her darkest hour, Byron Katie—now a spiritual mentor to millions—discovered that life isn't half as painful as we make it. With the help of four simple questions, she shows Caitlin Flanagan how to stop suffering and start getting real.

This article is a beautiful testament to how simply questioning our thoughts can bring us clarity and I appreciate Caitlin for sharing her story. The article is poignant and had all the qualities I look for in an honest review. And I invite you to read the article for yourself and let me know what you think!

The Work - Four Questions and a Turnaround

When people hear the term "The Work" I imagine sweat, blood, and tears are at the top of their thoughts. But thankfully, I'm not into sweat, blood, and tears unless I've been driven to do "The Work" because of unquestioned thoughts.

The Work is the easy part. It's the saving grace part. It's the alleviation of suffering part. So with that said, when you're ready to end your suffering, let's get to The Work and here it is:

Four Questions and a Turnaround

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?

Then we turn the thought around and find at least three genuine examples of how the turnaround is true or truer than your original thought.

That's it. Easy.

Because I want to keep this blog in digestible pieces, I will be exploring and offering examples as well as my own thoughts up for analysis. I believe if we can witness real live examples of this process, it gives us courage and understanding to engage the process ourselves.

I discovered The Work from Byron Katie's book, Loving What Is. In it, she takes live examples and puts them to the Four Questions and Turnaround. This is the process she calls The Work. I encourage you to put up a copy of the book if you've not done so already! Then read it. Then test it by doing the work yourself. Then read it again. And again. For me, this is how it became almost second nature to question the thoughts I would otherwise hook into that would create my suffering. Until next time, have a reality!